Second Friday

Ok – so it seems we all survived two doubles in a row. They were kind to us in Viewpoints and Suzuki Friday afternoon, but the morning was a bitch. Everything seemed to come up a notch. In Suzuki it was clear that we know enough now that we should be policing ourselves. For lack of more sophisticated terminology Ellen decided to play the Suzuki game today – which basically means if you make any mistakes you are out and sit down. The shitty part about this is that you do not get to go through the other movements and therefore cannot improve. A good lesson, one we all need to internalize. Since this is a form in which you can never actually be right, you are always chasing failure. You can always improve. Suzuki in the afternoon was about that. Kelly helped us break down some problem points and we went over them again and again and again. They have been doing this for 25 years, so they must have a good idea of what works.

About that 25 years. I find the willingness to give and to teach on the part of the SITI company amazing. They are so open and so giving it is astonishing to me that they could maintain this level for this long. We are all struggling and in some respect we are all struggling along side of our teachers. No one ever gets it right and yet so many try. It’s really beautiful and painful and frustrating – kind of like life.

Viewpoints was largely about vocabulary today – going over the six basic ideas in the morning and the SITI nine points in the afternoon. I love moving through the space with people I have grown to know better or at least understand in the context of that room. We were told today that they plan to shake up the groups on Monday – so we will all need to readjust to at least 15 new people in our morning groups. Its sad cause we seem to be working well together, but the shake up will bring new associations, new things to discover. Again –they have been doing this a long long time so they probably know what they are doing.

So – I just gotta say this – and I can’t imagine I  am alone. The food in the dinning hall is tasty, but so loaded with fat and salt that I spend most of the day choking back farts. I  know – it’s awful – but even mores so because at least half of what we are doing involves squatting and bending. It’s like some Dante circle but with lots of black clothes and some weird Japanese music playing.

First major outing tonight – we went to see Doug Varone Dancers – which was quite nice. Good to get off campus for a change. Seeing people in clothes other than workout clothes is odd, but nice. The group dynamic is very interesting – we know a bit about each other – some more than others, and also what folks excel at and what their preferences are in Viewpoints. I really do like the running part. A lot of the chatter is about soreness, what happened in class today, and what we need to work on, but then it bleeds into life at home, job, aspirations. Any kind of adversity will bring people together and form some kind of family – not universally and not across the board, but all of these people are going through what I am going through . It isn’t easy and it hurts like hell, but in the end we all hope to learn something about ourselves and maybe, if we are lucky, have a clear direction for moving forward.